Among the Thorns

 Mark 4:7 Other seed fell among thorns that grew up and choked out the tender plants so they produced no grain.

If you have been raised in Sunday school surely you are familiar with the parable of the Sower. A farmer goes out with a sac full of seeds ready to scatter among his fields. I suppose this farmer is slightly careless in his tossing of seeds because not only do the seeds reach the rich prepared soil, but they also scatter to weeds and a walking path and within bedrock. These later destinations meet their demise of un-fruitfulness only to be a short-lived seed.

Now, as a Christian I have always interpreted this story as I am the farmer loving Jesus spreading his message with a jolly little whistle of Spring Up O' Well O' Bless my Soul as I am sprinkling seeds left and right without a care in the world. Some people will be deaf and dumb as the birds ravage the seeds along the walking path. Other people will have short lived excitement because their roots cannot be established in the rocks. And the enemy will discourage others choking them with daunting lies. However, with enough enthusiasm as a farmer I will still yield a pretty good crop as a result of all my scattering.

Except... Confession: I have never lead anyone into a prayer of salvation.

I shudder to realize what a bad Christian I am. Worse yet, I feel like I am the one growing in the thorns.

Mark 4:18-19 The seed that fell among thorns represents others who hear God's word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life, the lure of wealth, and the desire for other things, so no fruit is produced.

Transparency: I have been a Believer the majority of my life, I was most active and motivated in my faith during my youth following my salvation early in high school. I was extremely involved in church youth group, I co-created a prayer group in middle school, I lead a small group of youth from church, and I performed in a drama ministry praying for people to make the leap of faith- never did I lead someone to Christ. I attended a Baptist college, faithfully attended church, participated in a few campus events- never did I tell someone about Jesus. I have served and bought homeless people food, given rides to complete strangers, cleaned elderly people's yards, listened to hurting people's stories, but I have never shared the message that everyone needs most. I have donated my time as a volunteer, donated money food and clothes, created care packages, I have long lists of people I am praying will find Jesus- yet I have never uttered the words to an individual, "Jesus loves you. Would you like to know more about him?" (except my kids).

Shame

What am I hiding from?

Am I crowded in the weeds?

I think a long time ago I convinced myself  I was a hypocrite, but if I could love people with my actions I would not need to depend on my words. I also have many family members raised in the church, but turned their backs, usually because of a hurtful experience. What  could I say that could actually be transforming?

But again I make excuses.

As it seems increasingly clear, when society is losing all rational thought making declarations totally contradicting biological reason more than ever people need the soothing love of Jesus to control the madness raging in their souls. They need to hear the message of love and redemption healing all the brokenness and pain. Why am I so ashamed to share the only message I know is truth? The only truth that brings wholeness. The only wholeness that offers purpose. The only purpose sustaining fulfillment. When there appears to be a threat of starvation, disease, and war a message of hope found in Jesus Christ is the best gift I can offer. 

He loves me so much, why am I struggling to share why I love him? Crowded by the worries of this life. Perhaps I don't truly believe Christ is the solution to the world's problems.

Matthew 25 brings truth chillers through my soul for there are several examples in Jesus' stories where people thought they were following Jesus. However, it seems they followed another sinful motivation resulting with Jesus declaring he, "did not know them." How devastating to think I was trying to follow Jesus' footstep only to learn my heart had an ungodly focus, therefore I am turned away.

Matthew 7:22-23 "Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name. But I will reply, "I never knew you. Get away from me. You who break God’s laws.”

I am a sinner. I am always struggling with anger or frustration with a lack of self-control. It is not uncommon for my kids to hear my apology. Yet, I also know I am covered by grace and by his loving kindness. Titus 3:4-5 “… When God our Savior made his kindness and love for humanity appear, he saved us, but not because of anything we had done to gain his approval. Instead, because of his mercy he saved us through the washing in which the Holy Spirit gives us new birth and renewal.” Also, I know by this beautiful message of mercy, an act of unconditional love I am supposed to be so excited so overjoyed I should be sharing this wonderful gift to everyone I meet and know. But I don’t.

I have allowed myself to be conditioned to believe I should be ashamed of my Christian heritage demoralizing the Indians, enslaving the Africans, Bible-thumping the promiscuous. The spread of Christianity does have its share of ugly tales. I certainly do not want to be perceived as judgmental or uncompassionate. Rather than sounding dumb or vocalizing the wrong idea I have played it safe: keep your mouth shut. Don’t take risks, play it safe, don’t give Christianity a bad rap. And maybe, just maybe, my actions can be convincing enough that Jesus loves them.

Problem is Jesus was a man of action full of compassion and gentleness as well as speaking words of truth and life. People need to hear the words they are loved along with acts to support those words.

I am not conceding to failure as a Believer. I am recognizing my strategy of playing it safe by keeping my mouth shut is no longer compatible with someone who wants other people to experience the amazing gift of salvation. Hiding the Light of Christ under a bush is not going to improve the condition of our world. The more people who choose Jesus, who want to mimic him, the better our society will be. We all need Jesus medicine to heal all the hurt and suffering of our souls.

I will not stop my small ways of helping community. Matthew 25:40 reinforces my silent acts have not been completely frivolous, “I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters you were doing it to me.” However, my words, my vulnerable reliance on Christ is just as essential and crucial to hear. The simple truth is I am not going to stop believing in Christ because I lack boldness. I fall on Peter’s words for my true sentiment. John 6:67-69 “Jesus turned to the twelve and asked, ‘Are you also going to leave?’ Simon Peter replied, ‘Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life. We believe, and we know you are the Holy One of God.’” This from the man who often stumbled and even denied knowing Jesus. But this is also the man who was responsible for building the church after Jesus’ ascent. Which offers hope. If Peter can turn it around surely Jesus can help me too.

I LOVE BERRIES!

 I love summertime where I can pick all the berries. Lately it has been blueberries and blackberries. Thank you, Jesus, for all this deliciousness 😋. 

The Declaration of a Country

This has been a difficult year to be excited about liberty as these United States. It seems there is this constant reminder of why the United States is no longer supreme or the greatest country on earth. We are begets, racists, religious zealots ready to pounce and admonish anyone who thinks differently. Yet, I don't see that in my community. My community is made up Latinos, African Americans, and Eastern Europeans. We live in appreciation of one another respecting one another's differences, but always willing to offer an open hand in time of need. This is America. A make-up of people who want more, freedom, to create a life sustaining fulfillment. For many that means wealth. Many came for religious liberty. Most came for the opportunity to do something better. They just wanted the opportunity to try to be something more. That opportunity is what sets this country apart from other countries.

I try to remember this but then there are these other voices from celebrities to politicians that constantly diminish these goals. Why? Why are they here if America is so bad?

What does the Declaration of Independence mean to us? To me it is the liberty to pursue well being for my family under the faithful covering of God Almighty. It may be an idea that is scoffed at today but it is the threads that hold this tapestry together. "Appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the name, and by authority of the good people of these colonies, solemnly publish and declare, that these United Colonies are, and of right ought to be free and independent states." 

Sure the Declaration of Independence were signed by a bunch of white men, but they had everything to lose. Signing this parchment was an act of treason against the British king. Most of these men paid dearly for their independence losing loved ones, wealth, and sometimes their own lives. Yet, they were still bold enough to "support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KYKHTyENEw 

The beauty of this declaration is it is a gift that continues to bless this country. Originally, Thomas Jefferson declared to King George III and the world the colonies would no longer tolerate unrepresented inhuman tyranny: that these United Colonies are, and of right ought to be free and independent states; that they are absolved from all allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the state of Great Britain is and ought to be totally dissolved. Then, nearly a hundred years later Abraham Lincoln was able to proclaim the document's truth once more: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." These words brought weight that the United States should and must recognize all men as creations of God's hands living a fulfilling life of duty and honor. Not suffering and slavery. Perhaps the words of the Declaration of Independence will be used in future generations to reverse the acts of evil or demolish an ailing government: "whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles, and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness."

I want to be angry for all the suffering that people are experiencing much of it as a result of government involvement. I want to feel resentment for all the mentally ill violently destroying lives. I want to hate the government for the power hungry entity it has become slowly eroding the ideals of American freedom.

However, I have to remind myself this is all cultural wars and if I want help I have to be involved in the culture. The signers of the Declaration and the Founding Fathers there were all speaker, writers, influencers of the freedom movement. And when I look at my kids and I talk to my neighbors and do life with my community those are the steps to establishing a better society. These are the qualities that make me proud to be an American.