Shapes of Love

When I first decided to write on the topic of love I had intended to discuss the difficulties of seeking romantic relationships, particularly my failures at dating. I seem to have been dating the guys for the wrong reasons. Instead though, I need to to take a few steps back to understand and grasp what and where love is.

If you can get past the fact that the movie How to Make an American Quilt is a chick flick it actually offers some very insightful realistic perspectives of love. Through the individual stories for the search of true love the characters learn love can mold into other forms: the unbreakable bond of sisters, the cherished passion for a daughter, the remembrance of a stranger/friend/soulmate, and a love missed in one's self.

I like the idea of love. I like the idea of growing old with someone. I like the idea of making and sharing memories. I like the idea of always having assurance to love and hold someone. I like the idea of experiencing a moment together and elbowing him in the gut to confirm the appreciated sight. However, I am also realizing the older I become the more accustomed I am to my single independent ways. On the other hand, the more I spend my life single the more I feel alone. Yet, the list I stated above does not mean to be restricted to one individual.

I am noticing I need to be comfortable with my singleness to truly grab hold of who I am and what I need rather than adapt for someone's needs and wants because I am too weak and insecure to be myself. A moment in time to focus on priorities of what has been given to me and to who I need to be thankful.

But just to play the Devil's advocate, is it possible we are all immature towards love leading to marriage through the courting process? Is it possible that true undeniable love cannot be accomplished until at least 50 years of marriage? Because by then you have proven the vows "through sickness and in health." By then it has been demonstrated the bond glued by love is so strong not even the concept of divorce can taint it.

No matter how much I may think I am ready for the leaps and bounds of matrimony I continue to prove I am not. Therefore, my love must be distributed equally to establish what I need to be securely to prevent concentration on one selfishly.

The faces of love I see: from a overly patient sister, to the prayerful supporting parents, to the laughter of a friend, to the cherished memories of distant friends, to the unconditional attention of a dog, to the desire of photography and communication, to the pleasure of a song that moves my soul, to a stranger that offers compassionate wisdom, to the willing listening ear, to the thrill and excitement of kayaking, to the generosity of a fellow comrade, to the growing remorseful soul, to the sovereign God who makes it all possible.

I can be at peace with this because there are so many signs of love. The intimate are by far the best, but also come at a price. So if someone has been found worth the expense grab on and never let go. Until then, grow, understand, seek, be curious, and live. Live for the moments that bring the most love-a fulfilled life.