What my struggles are
I know many people are wanting to write 2020 off as a loss and hopefully 2021 will look more promising. I am not sure what to think. My hear breaks for all those who are suffering. All the elderly locked away confined to their room hoping for at least a telephone call. Kids with special needs testing the patience of their parents. Business owners grasping for one more day of commerce. And here am I coasting along. Sure I have my good days and bad, but overall I personally have very little reason to complain.I will admit when the evolution of this virus touched ground in our country I was a roller coaster of emotions. I was super worried about Ebola back in 2015. Yet nothing really came of it. Not even my missionary friends who are doctors in central Africa were feeling any fear. After talking with my mother, who is an intensive care nurse at a hospital in middle Tennessee, she was completely uninterested in all the hype, especially since H1N1 turned out to be a big nothing-burger. I hoped Covid-19 would be the same conclusion. Then everything shut down. Grocery shopping required an early morning arrival without dragging my kids. I couldn't find toilet paper. I prepared to use cloth diapers for the baby. Searched for yeast and flour to make bread. Hunted for ingredients to make our own hand sanitizer. Then came the notifications of one cancellation after another. I became neurotic with my kids and germs. They were not allowed to touch anything, not that they listened. I placed mittens and masks when they were allowed in public. I was uptight and deeply distraught by the effects of asking thousands and thousands of businesses to shut their doors.I became consumed with the virus spending my every free moment reading about any new research revealing any new discoveries. I dived into every scientific article research paper I could latch with my eyes. The most common statements I grew weary of reading was "its theorized" and "we still don't know." It was redundant and frustrating to me. "Why don't we know more?" "We've got the entire scientific world researching this bug and we have no facts." Governments are making world altering economic decisions on stats and metrics that have no factual truth. There is no "science" in the decisions being made to govern businesses and commerce. Facts are not the driving force. The public is dependent on the feelings and opinions of officials and "experts."I have finally come to the understanding either get busy living or get busy dying. Covid-19 as a virus no longer worries me. I no longer disinfect my kids every time they touch something. I wear my mask as required, but my kids no longer wear mittens and masks (The baby never did).The papers and articles I have read lead me to understand we as a family have very little to worry about. We are not in the high risk groups. Though I do believe genetics play a role (I have never had the flu) high fat and high sugar diets eventually leading to obesity and diabetes I think play a bigger role. My mother, the nurse, informed every patient admitted into her unit had one common factor. Obese. We exercise, eat reasonably well, and take vitamins particularly with Vitamin D. Therefore, we trying to live as normally as society will allow.My sister recently got married in June. Even my granny of 92 years attended. She does not worry about catching Covid-19. "Nope. That's not what is going to take my life," she remarks with a smirk. If my granny at the age of 92 can be fearless then I can have hope too. What hurts more is watching all the suffering. All the grocery store workers are overworked. My sister who worked as a counsellor for a non-profit home for troubled teens was laid off from a lack of donations. My fear still wains, but for the reaction of the Covid-19 pandemic. There is so much despair and death without the interaction of the virus itself. My aunt lost her significant other to cancer. I can't visit for her fear of transmitting the virus to her in my travel. All the food banks are struggling to meet demand. Addictive habits have been rediscovered. My kids, mostly my oldest, are desperate to play with friends. Five years from now will we look back and wonder was it all worth it?
I know many people are wanting to write 2020 off as a loss and hopefully 2021 will look more promising. I am not sure what to think. My hear breaks for all those who are suffering. All the elderly locked away confined to their room hoping for at least a telephone call. Kids with special needs testing the patience of their parents. Business owners grasping for one more day of commerce. And here am I coasting along. Sure I have my good days and bad, but overall I personally have very little reason to complain.I will admit when the evolution of this virus touched ground in our country I was a roller coaster of emotions. I was super worried about Ebola back in 2015. Yet nothing really came of it. Not even my missionary friends who are doctors in central Africa were feeling any fear. After talking with my mother, who is an intensive care nurse at a hospital in middle Tennessee, she was completely uninterested in all the hype, especially since H1N1 turned out to be a big nothing-burger. I hoped Covid-19 would be the same conclusion. Then everything shut down. Grocery shopping required an early morning arrival without dragging my kids. I couldn't find toilet paper. I prepared to use cloth diapers for the baby. Searched for yeast and flour to make bread. Hunted for ingredients to make our own hand sanitizer. Then came the notifications of one cancellation after another. I became neurotic with my kids and germs. They were not allowed to touch anything, not that they listened. I placed mittens and masks when they were allowed in public. I was uptight and deeply distraught by the effects of asking thousands and thousands of businesses to shut their doors.I became consumed with the virus spending my every free moment reading about any new research revealing any new discoveries. I dived into every scientific article research paper I could latch with my eyes. The most common statements I grew weary of reading was "its theorized" and "we still don't know." It was redundant and frustrating to me. "Why don't we know more?" "We've got the entire scientific world researching this bug and we have no facts." Governments are making world altering economic decisions on stats and metrics that have no factual truth. There is no "science" in the decisions being made to govern businesses and commerce. Facts are not the driving force. The public is dependent on the feelings and opinions of officials and "experts."I have finally come to the understanding either get busy living or get busy dying. Covid-19 as a virus no longer worries me. I no longer disinfect my kids every time they touch something. I wear my mask as required, but my kids no longer wear mittens and masks (The baby never did).The papers and articles I have read lead me to understand we as a family have very little to worry about. We are not in the high risk groups. Though I do believe genetics play a role (I have never had the flu) high fat and high sugar diets eventually leading to obesity and diabetes I think play a bigger role. My mother, the nurse, informed every patient admitted into her unit had one common factor. Obese. We exercise, eat reasonably well, and take vitamins particularly with Vitamin D. Therefore, we trying to live as normally as society will allow.My sister recently got married in June. Even my granny of 92 years attended. She does not worry about catching Covid-19. "Nope. That's not what is going to take my life," she remarks with a smirk. If my granny at the age of 92 can be fearless then I can have hope too. What hurts more is watching all the suffering. All the grocery store workers are overworked. My sister who worked as a counsellor for a non-profit home for troubled teens was laid off from a lack of donations. My fear still wains, but for the reaction of the Covid-19 pandemic. There is so much despair and death without the interaction of the virus itself. My aunt lost her significant other to cancer. I can't visit for her fear of transmitting the virus to her in my travel. All the food banks are struggling to meet demand. Addictive habits have been rediscovered. My kids, mostly my oldest, are desperate to play with friends. Five years from now will we look back and wonder was it all worth it?
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