911- 20 years later

 On the 2oth anniversary of 911 I woke up with a dreadful feeling this morning anticipating history would change in one dreadful swoop. Thus far today has been calm, quiet (relatively with three children), and gorgeously beautiful. Yet, there is this sickening feeling in my gut all hell is about to break loose. Perhaps I offer too much attention towards global political events with menacing retaliation.

I do not have a great story about the day of 911, but I remember it clearly. I had just started my senior year of college where I lived with two roommates in a disgusting apartment about two blocks from the college campus. I was getting ready for my 9:30 am senior art class when one roommate walked into the kitchen stating she heard reported on NPR a plane hitting a New York building. I remember thinking, “Huh. Well….. we better get going or going to be late for class.” Being rather dismissive we continued our routine and I walked to class. By the time I arrived at the Art Building a group of students in my class were congregated outside the door. Just as I was about to enter through the door I was stopped by the chattering, “Class has been cancelled.” The bewildered look on my face triggered the response, “Didn’t you hear? The Twin Towers have been hit by two planes?” As I stood there in shock learning the details my roommate’s statement of a plane hitting a building suddenly made sense.

I did not stay at the Art Building long. Instead, I made my way to the student recreation center. Near the entrance there was a large room equipped with lounge sitting and a large screen tv. The room was full of students’ eyes glued to the horrifying events unraveling on live air. By this time the Pentagon had been struck and the towers collapsed reducing the area to ash and smoke. For a couple of hours, I shared those images with students I had never known nor knew a name to match. Nevertheless, we shared the fear things were going to be different and dreaded the idea of how many lives would be lost. I eventually wondered back to my apartment. There, my roommates had the tv on feeding any morsel of information available. We knew something sinister was occurring. We knew the magnitude of destruction was vast. Now, as I reflect, I can admit I truly had no idea how terrorism changed the course of the US government’s attention.

Apart from the day of 911 my conceited peripheral vision had little notice of the world beyond my college town. I had a friend who promised his fiancé he would not enlist after graduation. I remember thinking I should drive to New York for photo ops since my emphasis was photojournalism. I was told I did not stand chance for permission to enter Long Island. I remember seeing coverage of the slow clean up process. I had a friend from New York who was concerned about her family. The rumors of war slowly took shape against terrorism. For some reason Afghanistan, a place I had never heard of, kept being mentioned. We noticed gas prices start to increase with irritation to my limited budget. Suddenly, a trip to New York had lost all interest. However, flying to Los Vegas because airfare plummeted caught my fancy. These are my memories lingering after the effects of September 11.

All my attention was on college directly encircling me. I knew of no one enlisting. I knew nothing of Bin Laden. I rarely watched television therefore I did not follow the news. I was locked into my own isolated world of preparing my senor project. Meanwhile, the government was ramping up war against an idea. A concept of religion involving thousands of more deaths. The attacks on 9/11 showed little effect on my daily life.

Fast forward to March of 2003. The Bush Administration had finally convinced the Congress and other countries Iraq was the next target for terrorism. Weapons of Mass Destruction. I remember standing in an empty hospital lobby the night US troops with night vision glasses invaded Bagdad on the 20^th of March. It is funny, after fighting in Afghanistan for over a year that is my first recollection of retaliation for the attacks on American soil.

Now after US removal from Afghanistan two decades later do I understand a larger scope of the picture. Everyone has different opinions: Libertarians- “Don’t force democracy on people who don’t want it.” Liberals- “We have to show equality and equity.” Neo-Cons- “We fight until we obliterate into submission.” Conservatives- boots on the ground for eyes and ears. Missionaries- “We need to save their souls.” I have my opinions on how the situation should have been managed, but it matters little now for the damage has been done. Full circle with little to show for it. What I will acknowledge is I fear retribution more than I ever have. The perfect surprise organizing the 911 attacks I think could pale in comparison to what may happen in the near future.

 Over the last few years, we have demonstrated repeatedly our weak judgmental hammering of fellow citizens. We are tearing ourselves apart by an attitude of disunity. We wallow in disgruntle muttering of our neighbor. We become complacent allowing the enemy to devour within distracted by our daily conveniences. How dismissive we react to whispering threats. How ignorant we behave towards facts. How biased we respond to differing opinions. We constantly eat our own attack upon attack on each other while either distracted or ignoring the enemy slipping from behind. If we did endure another act of jihad there would be no unity. Nothing like what we saw after September 12, 2001. Church services were held across the country in memory of the loss. Congress sang in choir “God Bless America.” Can you imagine that happening today?

Today I made my girls watch a 10 minute video explaining the events of 911 for children. I offered further explanation we live in a sinful fallen world. Bad things happen all the time, however as Believers in Jesus we have a better sense of security and salvation of hope found in Jesus. I want my children to understand bad things happen quickly ruining our grasp of life on Earth, but with Jesus that does not matter. Our eternity is with him. I also want my children to know we do not sit around blindly ignoring dangers around us nor accepting false teaching. We are rooted in God’s Word. We love and help our fellow neighbor. We walk away from foolishness. We live boldly with the forgiving love of Jesus.

These last two years I have felt as if the world is rapidly collapsing inward. If I can focus on the everlasting truth of Jesus, I can remind myself not to be disheartened. The faith of people who have lost so much as a result of 911 are a testimony to that very fact.