It has been six weeks today since my miscarriage. Physically, I am fairly well recovered. I do not feel fatigued requiring daily naps. I can function just fine on 6-7hrs of sleep, much to my husbands dismay because he is afraid I will have early onset Alzheimer's. My skin color has returned. Maybe not my normal tan, but nothing this lovely warm weather cannot remedy. I quit taking iron supplements so my gastrointestinal system is working just fine. I started running again after three weeks of rest and could barely run a mile before losing my breath. Either I had more lactic acid built up than anticipated or I became really out of shape fast or my hemoglobin and hematocrit were still quite low. Today, I finally had a successful run where I did not feel like I would hit the wall. Instead, I could keep stomping along until I had seen enough. Which I must say, this has been the prettiest springs I have seen in a long time.
Mentally, I am doing well. I was sad. Then I felt guilty for not feeling sad enough. Then I felt all this hostile emotion welling up inside. Sometimes it was directed at the elections. Sometimes I shut down. Sometimes it was misdirected at my husband.
At present, I am feeling very happy and hopeful. I find myself living in prayer and being thankful. I am ready to make another baby and enjoy the this new season. I thank God for his patience loving me no matter how little I deserve it. I am grateful for my family and friends who have loved and supported me. I am grateful for my husband, even when he was clueless as to the feelings boiling inside, still managed to say "yes."
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