"RAISE YOUR PITCHFORKS! IT'S TIME TO START A REVOLUTION!"

I will admit the past seven years I have not been happy with our country's leadership and discrimination of Christian values. This is my third participating presidential primary. For the first time I have been excited about the Republican candidates, though numerous. But like all primaries one by one people dropped out overshadowed by the Trump phenomenon. In the beginning the Trump appeal could be seen as an interesting psychosocial experiment: a man can stand before for the media spout any crazy politically incorrect nonsense and be hailed a hero.

Before long the appeal turned into horror then disappointment then disgust then into maddening disbelief. The man will say anything to create a knee jerk reaction whether he believes it or not and is admired for it. The non-establishment candidate revered for not being a politician flip-flops and panders to anyone who vows a vote. The evangelicals are declaring morality and honor are no longer necessary for the presidency, but being a winner Trumps all. I must be taking crazy pills transporting me to another universe because I am agreeing with the media's annalist of Trump's character. It is bad enough there is a candidate who wants to offer socialism/communism as the new American dream, but then to have another candidate tell me he has the answers because he shouts louder and more obnoxiously is absurd.

There are three fraction to the Republican party. Trump supporters-loud and mad, the establishment Republicans playing it safe, fearful, and completely ineffective, and the ultra conservative. The last group is me. Believers in constitutional principles, biblical values, tired of encroaching government, fed up with hearing intolerance is intolerable, disgusted with the morality vacuum, and exasperated that my faith is offensive when all other religions are gladly welcome. The feud between Trump "We're not going to take it!" because you are ugly and the Republicans screaming, "You're not conservative enough," I feel lost and unrecognized. Once again, the four million citizens who avoided the election in 2012 I might join this year feeling completely unrepresented. Even the talk radio shows and conservative media are telling us a moderate is the answer because he uses his big mouth to shout down the media.

I become obsessive with my research of Trump and searching for affirmation from other Christian believers. I write letters and editorials hoping for feedback. Hoping for confirmation to prove Trump is not the solution. I collect facts and evidence believing most sincerely Trump is a fraud and as much apart of the Liberal establishment as Jeb Bush is apart of the Republican establishment. Going into the Kentucky caucus I declare my solution. Ted Cruz is a constitutionalist who lives and breathes the law. He hates big government and cares little about public opinion if it violates the law. Most importantly Cruz loves Jesus who helped him overcome great obstacles steering Cruz to the path of righteousness. Cruz is hated for his unbreakable integrity, which no one can bribe or blackmail. At the caucus a reporter interviews me and I proudly share my feelings while my husband stands quiet. I feel pride for my contribution to the fight because I am tired of standing silent.

About an hour after voting while making my daughter's lunch I innocently remember to ask my husband who he voted for knowing the answer will be Cruz. As the word "Trump" rolls out of my husband's mouth I immediately become deflated realizing I failed my husband. In all my frustration and nit-picking of Trump I never explain my reasons for Cruz. I assume my periodic rants are received and understood. I assume I am right and my opinion matters.

In the days to come my disbelief turns into anger for my husbands's gullibility and for my false assumption. How can I be so blind? Why am I am not more influential. The caucus results roll in with analysis and commentary. I do not know whether to be depressed or encouraged. I keep watching and reading for an answer to offer hope. Something that says, "The American people are not stupid puppets after all." I keep searching for a reflection proving God is not dead in America. The TV and internet do not indulge me.

I visit my parents' church for Sunday service. The young lady who leads worship affirms my frustration by sharing her struggles, but then she reminds us it is not over.
Isaiah 9:6
A child will be born for us.
A son will be given to us.
The government will rest on his shoulders.
He will be named:
Wonderful Counselor,
Mighty God,
Everlasting Father,
Prince of Peace.

How ashamed I feel. I place my faith on men, on politics, on information. None of which controls my soul or loves me.

Then during the sermon the teacher encourages Believers to be a people of action following the examples of Jesus and behave as representatives:
Hebrew 5:7-9 During his life on earth, Jesus prayed to God, who could save him from death. He prayed and pleaded with loud crying and tears, and he was heard because of his devotion to God. Although Jesus was the Son of God, he learned to be obedient through his sufferings. After he had finished his work, he became the source of eternal salvation for everyone who obeys him.
Jesus serves. Jesus obeys. Jesus has defeated. Now we are winners. Now we follow his example to serve and be obedient to continue the cycle of salvation.

Philipians 2:5-8
Have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.
Although he was in the form of God and equal with God,
he did not take advantage of this equality.
Instead, he emptied himself by taking on the form of a servant,
by becoming like other humans,
by having a human appearance.
He humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death,
death on a cross.
I have been placing my own fears and frustrations first forgetting there are lives at stake. My job is to serve and to love. Certainly not to judge.

Not long after hearing the sermon my husband sends me a text stating his uncle has been diagnosed with systolic heart failure, a weak heart with additional systemic complications, and is not expected to do well. The uncle is not a believer. He is about 50 living a strange life of hoarding and exaggerated stories. I have been in prayer for him to find Jesus among the unrest and to have peace. In the end this world will fade away and our actions will be our testimony. Were we loving and faithful? Were we selfish and fearful? Were we giving and wise? Or were we loathing and rude?

I need to stop worrying about the voters. Definitely avoid the campaign rhetoric. Remain faithful in prayer. Be kind and honest to anyone I have interaction.

II Corinthians 10:3-5
Of course we are human, but we don’t fight like humans. The weapons we use in our fight are not made by humans. Rather, they are powerful weapons from God. With them we destroy people’s defenses, that is, their arguments and all their intellectual arrogance that oppose the knowledge of God. We take every thought captive so that it is obedient to Christ.
Amen!