A Monster Has Kidnapped My Daughter

For the last week in the evening hours my once sweet happy-go-lucky daughter turns into a raging monster leaving me bewildered as to the next course of action. Fortunately, one weapon I have to sooth the savage beast is nursing. It is amazing quickly the crying ceases once she knows to latch.

One night while she was in the tub she began having the time of her life splashing in the water amusing herself. Like a 180, tore into tears fighting whether to come out or stay in the tub. Finally, realizing she was out of character I raised her out embracing her without drying her off and started singing. Once she was dry enough to place on pajamas we started to nurse and she was relieved.

Part of my daughter's irrational behavior was apart of sickness, however I think my precious baby is also entering into the tantrum phase, not to mention separation anxiety. Teething definitely seems to be a main factor of complaint. Sucking on ice through a washcloth is her new favorite treat. For other reasons, to quell her frustration she will scream in panic. It does not matter if her foot becomes stuck or she cannot untwist a cap or a toy will not sit perfectly arranged or Pandora Radio takes too long to play the next song. All of these examples have created a frantic child sometimes quickly consolable, sometimes not.

When Lucy first started to cry in frustration or startled it was pretty adorable. I could not help but smile as her little tears rolled down her cheek, her eyes hidden and her mouth wide and angry. Now, I have to muster every bit of self-control and patience to talk to her calmly. "No, Lucy. We don't need to scream. Let Momma help you." Taking the insufferable object away can cure the ailment. Sometimes I need to walk away and she soothes herself. Sometimes its best to remove her from the room and look at something else.

At 18 months old she is not walking and I have to think the lack of independence has got to offer her discouragement. But if I try to help her walk that can equally be as upsetting.

I do not want to make excuses for her and I certainly do not want her screams perceived as acceptable behavior. Finding a physical ailment, like teething or frustrated, seems like an easy justification. Still, what if I am the culprit? Maybe I have not been firm earlier in her development or she has seen me lash out and I am being imitated? If I am to blame can I reverse the conditioning? In psychology the big question asked is nature verses nurture, then I hear so many parents respond, "Its all nature." I want to respond, "You are in denial," because I am pretty sure it is 50/50. I say this because I feel very conditioned by my environment, so I may change my tune.

I love playing with my daughter and watching her learn or discover new information. Most of the day she watches or acts surprised or giggles or sings or asseses. When she smiles and waves at a stranger I think, "Oh good. Maybe I did not screw her up." Or after several moments of pointing with "THIS!" I finally convince her to say "Please" will actually accomplish the desired object.

There is a lot I have to learn. I feel bad my daughter is my guinea pig and hope I am not raising a little terror. I am sure I am being trained for the Terrible Twos and Threes. I just hope I do not snap, but continue to calmly reassure her all will be well.